rock over London. rock on, Chicago.

from the good people who brought you Electronic Intifada comes Electronic Iraq.



this journalist describes his flight into Baghdad, and how he handles himself over in that magical land the electorate forgot: warzone Iraq.

so who likes excerpts??

The flight from Jordan feels all too normal…until we arrive over Baghdad International Airport. The nose of the plane dips, the left wing drops and the downward spiral begins-dropping us 4,000 feet per minute into the inferno that is occupied Iraq.

Rather than an in-flight magazine, a lonely card is available to read in the seat pocket. It begins with:

“For those of you who have not traveled with us before, you need to be aware that, for your security and safety, and not for your comfort, we do a spiral decent into Baghdad.This is carried out to avoid any risk from anti-aircraft missiles or small arms fire…”



ker-razy! and I bitch about having to tip the fucking sky cap!

read the rest here:

http://electroniciraq.net/news/1694.shtml



PS – the rest of the site is informative and interesting, too. so tivo the sitcom and have a read, for Jesus’s sake (this means you, Raelson).

I was almost over it. I’d basically accepted the election results, and I did it by saying to myself the whole time, over and over again, “don’t check townhall.com’s latest columns, Matt. Doug Giles is there. and Doug Giles is an asshole; he’s just going to make you mad.”

I checked it anyway.



all-time greatest line in the history of man:

“Look, I’m sure that the aforementioned Kerry cabal has a lot to say regarding…

· How to redistribute someone else’s wealth to pimps, whores and welfare brats”



that was one of his many points: fucking welfare brats. being poor and lazy and living off all us hardworking people.



goddamnit. this is my soapbox, and I don’t care who reads it (all three of you): Doug Giles enflames me. and not in the totally erotic homosexual way – how ironic would that be – but in the way a rash in my asscrack might. I don’t like him.

I’d make my distaste for him more apparent, and I’d explain exactly why, but I’m on the clock right now. so until I sit down, take a couple of horse tranquilizers and see through my burning and unending contempt for all things “self aggrandizing/self righteous evangelical Christian from south Florida who hates/denegrates anything that doesn’t fit his status quo,” I’m going to have to let this one go.



feel the love- Doug Giles, “Spanked”:

http://www.townhall.com/columnists/douggiles/dg20041106.shtml\

and so it begins.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/EDUCATION/11/06/evolution.schools.ap/index.html

okay, obviously I’m still thinking about the election and its implications. it’s only been a week, god bless. so I’m going to defer to a comic strip.



gywo. March 20th, 03.



officer worker 1: “just promise me one thing. promise me that when you hear Saddam Hussein is dead, you’ll stop moaning about this war for a moment and think of all the people that odious motherfucker killed. raise a glass to his victims.”



officer worker 2: “you know what? don’t give me that shit. I know when to grieve, and who for. those sanctions made Saddam stronger and his victims weaker. yet, somehow, mentioning this fact to people over the years made me a “hippie.” A HIPPIE? I’m a middle manager who lifts weights and doesn’t like the smell of marijuana! meanwhile, Donald Rumsfeld is about to be treated as a humanitarian liberator! you don’t need to tell me who to “raise a glass to,” you fucking idiot – I raise six glasses every night, just to get drunk enough to love this country like I did as a kid: without feeling like it’s using me.”



office worker 1: “come on, I was trying to have a moment!”





www.mnftiu.cc

Chin up.

Because it’s on, motherfuckers.

It is on.

in the spirit of things,

hate gun:

http://www.hategun.com/features/mistaken/index.html

note: i use the F word a lot up ahead. some people don’t like the F word, so fair warning.



so election night sucked. I went and saw Bob Dylan up in West Lafayette last night, and I didn’t focus on Dylan for like a whole five minutes out of the show. that’s saying something.

for those of you who’ve been in a fucking cave, lets recap.

Republicans won: the house, the senate, and the presidency.

so whats that mean?

good-bye, civil liberties! hel-lo, patriot act 2!

good-bye, Roe v. Wade! hel-lo, stone age!

good-bye, separation of church and state! hel-lo, messianic leader of our shining new theocracy!

well, I don’t know about that last one completely (he may not be the Messiah; Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and James Dobson have yet to confirm it) but so much for women’s rights and our right for the FBI not to check our library cards. that stuff’s down the shitter.

Democrats shit the bed on this one. I bet they sacrifice Ed Gillespie at a gay flag burning parade in Vermont to try and quell the angry gods.



lots of young folk who were pumped about Kerry are saying shit like “I’m moving out, this country is fucked. crazy right wingers.” even Spencer said that.

first thing, Spencer can’t move, because I don’t leave the country much, and I’d never see him again. secondly, fuck that shit, Spencer. just because some moron puppet of a neoconservative agenda gets pushed in on a vote of fear and ignorance doesn’t mean I’m going fucking anywhere. its my country and its your country too, and we didn’t vote for him. neither did about 55 million other people. he can’t roll over on all of us.

so the left got bitchslapped out of the government. okay. fine, fuck it. that means for the next four years, all of the problems Bush caused and Kerry wanted to inherit, they’re remaining Bush’s. so when the republicans piledrive the economy through the dance floor, and we’re still liberatin’ us some freedom over in Iraq (and god knows where else), it’ll be no one’s fault but their own. Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, and other conservative talking heads will grow tumors trying to blame a crushing national debt and an ever-rising military death toll on liberalism.

so fuck you, republicans. I didn’t vote for you, and as long as you run on pre-emptive strikes, arrogance, reckless spending, homophobia, and unilateralism, I never will.

fucking bullshit motherfucking christian conservative value voting idiots. fuck.





on a happier note, who likes puppies? Laura and the twins do!http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/11/04/presidential.pooch.ap/index.html





on January 1st, somebody should be outside the White House with a sandwichboard sign that reads “Dear President Bush. 49 percent of the vote wasn’t for you. so please don’t shove your fag hatin’, god fearin’, war lovin’ neoconservative agenda down the throat of that other half of the country. thanks. signed – people who don’t vote solely because they think God tells me them to”

this sandwichboard should be out there until 2008. and then longer, if needed.

I’m predicting street fighting, regardless of tomorrow’s outcome. and I’m cool with that. I’ve always wanted to see a riot. Dead Kennedys make it sound so fun in that song of theirs by the same name.



I’m supposed to be writing a paper right now, because I don’t want to do it tomorrow during all the fun that should be going on, but instead I’m putting it off to think about the election and update this bullshit blog that no one reads anyway (not going to stop me from posting it though, you motherfuckers).

I’ve been calling a Kerry victory for about six months now. I got a dollar riding on it with my man Smith. if Kerry loses, I’m fucked, cause i’m out a dollar which could have possibly gone towards a taco.

but at the same time, we’re all fucked – because the Democrats are going to shit a brick and go nuts if anything like 2000 is repeated. I mean, Bush hatred (60 to 75 percent of it warranted) has been whipped into a frenzy in the last few months. and if he gets back in, and he keeps going along with the whole “good ol’ boy from the wild west” bullshit shtick, I think people are going to throw down. so here’s another bold prediction: cops in riot gear will be used in response to the outcome.



for a more sober moment, though, one not tied up in fanciful daydreams about smashing windows and pepper spray, my man EJ Dione at the Post wrote a smokin’ column for Tuesday. He’s dead on when he says “Bush could have been a great president. He was for several months. He chose instead to be the leader of a party and a faction. However this election turns out, that’s what he’ll still be on Nov. 3.”

parties and small factions shouldn’t run a government “by the people, for the people.” no sense in that.



tomorrow is a big day. big, big day. heads have been saying this is the most important election of a lifetime. I hope not, my generation definitely may not be equipped to handle that kind of choice. I’ll probably update in the next 48 hours, after downing that half bottle of Skol Josh left in the freezer, either out of joy or rampant sorrow.



EJ Dione Jr is here – http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A17262-2004Nov1.html

holy god, I’ve gone link krazy.

1st and ten: Kerry is going to win, as the Redskins demand it. respect to Green Bay, just this once.

this is the equivalent of a run up the middle for about six yards.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=1913509

2nd and four: Ralph Nader talks to dolls. once again, he is right or at least more right than Bush/Kerry in every point he makes, but it doesn’t matter. he has totally given up. tonight, I weep.

like getting sacked.

http://www.votenader.org/contribute/store2.php?cid=39

3rd and long: Doug Giles writes another column. the world becomes more dumb, as he exudes dumbness.

in the shotgun, qb doesn’t see the end coming from his blind side, and he’s dropped deep.

http://www.townhall.com/columnists/douggiles/dg20041030.shtml

4th and 20: Local H covers Britney Spears. swear to God.

the fake punt, in which the kicker goes deep to a third string receiver and they get six.

http://www.localh.com/toxic.html

touchdown.

oh, and happy Halloween. I went as a mummy, and looked like an ass. I wish I had pictures.