rock over London. rock on, Chicago.

right, so I lost my wallet.
again!
when Pee Wee had his wallet stolen in “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure,” Simone made him wash dishes at the diner to pay for his meal. that’s not really a metaphor or an allegory; that’s just what happened.

and we broke our garbage disposal. so it’s up to the whim of Richard Linnemeier, our halfawake landlord, as to whether we have to pay for it or not.
and it’s snowing outside. in February. in southern Indiana.
where the hell am I?

it’s 4 am.
right now, my favourite Tom Petty song is “Yer so Bad.” Petty fucking shreds!

this is subject to change, so don’t get comfortable with it!

my sister got lucky, married a yuppie
took him for all he was worth.
now she’s a swinger, dating a singer
I don’t know which is worse.

but not me, baby.
I’ve got you to save me.

this started off as a homework assignment: find an image you feel represents you physically.
then I found some goofy ass pictures, and sent them to a friend in an email.
and now they’re on here. because, you know, everyone who looks at this blog really gives a fuck.
so,
it’s Matt in pictures!
what could they all mean? what’s the underlying meaning of them all??? (it’s true – I think I have a small penis. I just couldn’t say it until now… sob!)

1. http://www.speech.kth.se/multimodal/emotions/neutral.gif

2. http://home1.gte.net/stumpie/stumptrans.gif

3. http://www.kanuka.co.nz/New%20Graphics/boar.jpg

4. http://minddiversion.typepad.com/mind_diversion/woodchoppingrules.jpg

5. http://www.myworldfarm.com/images/Cheyenne-8a.jpg

6. http://www.hankstruckpictures.com/pix/trucks/joe_hyberg/nov2002/88_ford_econoline_diesel.jpg

7. httP://www.jonathanlouis.net/furniture/900-999/images/977-santamaria-sofa-800.jpg

to everyone who looked at those – you’re welcome. it’s a joy to spread the enlightenment that is “Matt McMullan.”

don’t you love when the title leads in with an “I hate to bitch”? you just know it’s gonna be totally ridiculous.

so. I hate to bitch, but the more I think about it, a lot of the people who quote “Napoleon Dynamite” were probablyless like Napoleon and more like Don, Summer Wheatley’s boyfriend. you know, the blonde guy with the flat top who only dresses in white?

see? ridiculous.

it has come to my attention that Beck Hansen, writer of such great songs as “beercan,” “loser,” “lost cause,” and countless others is a scientologist.

okay, I’ve got an unhealthy dislike of Scientology. seriously.
and every time I hear that another actor who I sometimes enjoy (Travolta, Cruise, Jason fucking Lee) is in this “church,” it makes it harder and harder to enjoy their movies.
“Collateral” was great. so was “Get Shorty” and “Pulp Fiction.” I love “Mallrats.”
but whenever I watch Tom Cruise onscreen, the little voice in the back of my head says to me, “he believes a bunch of spirits live inside his body, and that he’ll become a genius if he only ‘levels up.’”

now the same is going to happen with Beck. dang!

have we learned nothing!?!?

Smith and I signed a lease on my apartment for next year. Galia’s moving out, and Smith’s moving into her room. which probably makes them both shudder, for some reason.

in other news, lots of shit keeps exploding or “earthquaking” in Iran. what the hell?

in more other news, I took a test today. it is done; the beast lays slain.

in some other rokked out news, I’m going to monument valley over spring break.
I dare one of you motherfuckers to try and stop me. try. see what happens.

Hunter S. Thompson killed himself.

what a fucking shame.



Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a main era – the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run, but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant. There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. And that, I think, was the handle – that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting – on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark – the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.

-HST, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

you know who was in “Constantine” with Keanu Reeves?
Gavin Rossdale.

the guy from fucking Bush!
he’s got acting chops, dog! no wonder Gwen Stefani used to ball him.

… right next to religious conservatives and Packers fans.
I’ve been reading about plastic surgery in the United States, and gender and racial bias in relation to it. like how asian women have their eyes worked on to get rid of that “dirty chink/gook slant” and appear more like “undeniably more attractive white people.” it’s put me in a really good mood.

plastic surgeons, many of whom understand that they are helping to reinforce negative stereotypes and play to people’s horrible, horrible vanity, are practicioners of one of the fastest fucking growing industries in the U.S.

so,
this is a shout out to anybody I know who’s ever considered plastic surgery…
well, I don’t think I know anyone who has, but at the same time, it’s not something you talk about…
nevertheless. if you ever go through with it, and it’s not because you’re a burn victim, or you had your face bitten off by a bear like that poor asshole on “Ripley’s Believe It or Not,” and you’re just doing it because you don’t like your nose. or your tits. or your fucking eyelids, or your calves, then you’re a bigger tool than I could have possibly comprehended.

but hey, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. I have crowns on my front two teeth, and I had braces.

that’s due tomorrow. and instead, Galia and I made a quiz. a really classy one.

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/takequiz.php?quizname=050217195901-268057

edit: I just took it myself cause I wanted to see how funny the questions came across, and I got an 8/10. I was trying, too.