rock over London. rock on, Chicago.

mom is coming down today.
Mike would say, “huh. mom.”
we’ll probably go to Brown County. that’s okay. it’s really pretty there in the fall. and we’ll probably go out to eat somewheres.
as far as dining out goes: when most people’s parents come to town for a weekend visit, they try to milk it for all it’s worth. like, they have their parent’s take them to a local steakhouse, or a real nice (read: expensive and trendy) restaurant on the square. the Malibu Grill across from the courthouse comes to mind.
however, with mom, that’s not the case. wherever we go, she’s not going to be happy with the food. not because she’s picky, no. it’s cause to her, it’s all just food. I could feed her fancy feast, and she wouldn’t complain. she’s definitely a child of a child of the depression. grandma and grandpa put the fear of god in her something awful about that.
if, when we were growing up, we didn’t like what we had for dinner (which was consistently a garden salad and Ramen noodles, or some variation of the two) we got the classic line: “you should eat, cause people in China are starving.”
which was probably true at one time or another. but they’re probably starving in urban Detroit or the Mississippi delta, too.
so, we’ll probably end up at Fazoli’s, or some mexican place with a half price dinner menu. fuck it, works for me.

what else.
the Doom review.
this week, I got “the Weatherman.” it’s the lead again. I think someone up there likes me.

and also.
the White Sox won the world series. we’ve got WGN on in the other room, they’re live from the ticker tape parade/rally. Smith made a good point; Daley didn’t do any of this shit back when the Bulls won. he’s a Sox fan. Bridgeport is on the south side, after all.

the last three days I’ve eaten: burrito. burrito. white castle.
right now, I have the worst gas in the history of man. I feel toxic.

last night after class, I walked to Plan 9.
picked up a samurai movie, and another one called “Grim Reaper,” which I won’t even bother explaining….
okay, it’s a slasher flick about greek cannibals. happy?

after that, I walked around the corner to get my cheap “mexican” food on at Taco Bell.
there was a homeless guy at the counter. I’ve seen him there a couple times before, actually. he was wearing a bright red Indiana starter jacket, blue corduroy pants with dirt stains on them, loafers, and he had an absolutely huge blonde/grey beard with streaks of red in it.
he had maybe three or four dollars in a couple of crumpled bills and a whole lot of loose change. he was counting it out in front of the register. the employee looked like she didn’t get paid enough to deal with this bullshit. she wasn’t glaring at him, but she looked like she could have fallen asleep.
I’m not saying it was sad, because he didn’t seem to think so. it wasn’t like he was saying, “please, ma’am, let me see how much I have. I need a taco, I haven’t eaten in days!” he was actually in a pretty good mood, kind of talking to himself and the girl at the counter at the same time. and when I came up behind him, the girl addressed him by his first name, like they’ve done this before. said something like, “Telly, if you’re not going to buy anything, you gotta get out of the way.”
so I order two mexi-melts and the 7 layer burrito (fuck. yeah.) and he’s still counting out his change right next to me, so I say, “are you a little short?”
and he looked up from his change, and kind of looks at me surprised, and said, “well, I’m 5’9. how tall are you?”
it was pretty funny. then, as I waited for my burrito, he told me about he fucked up his sciatic nerve and a couple of discs in his back, and how it’s okay cause he doesn’t live in his body anymore, and the body is only temporary anyway so it doesn’t really matter, and then he started to cry (“don’t worry,” he said, “these are tears of joy.”) and told me if only other people could see what he’s seen…
and I’m not sure if he was referring to transcendentalist, out of body experience stuff, or the wild ass shit you probably see as a homeless person in this country. either way, he reminded me of an alcoholic santa. he was so merry.
then my burrito was ready, and he said, “I gotta go talk to Lurch over here,” who I think was another Taco Bell employee.
the end.

also, the White Sox are kicking them some ass. I’d have pulled for them regardless of who they played, but as soon as they pulled Houston, I’ll be honest. it became a political issue for me last night. it’s like I’m watching the democrats play the republicans.

you know what? fuck Texas. fuck your big country cowboy ethic, and fuck the way the mentality of one god damned state can influence political policy for the rest of the world.

know how I know? Nolan Ryan threw the first pitch out. he played for the fuckin’ Rangers! they’re in Dallas! not in Houston. what the fuck??? they want to make this a Texas thing. either way, Chicago’s up 3-0. go eat a dick, Roy Oswalt. I know you voted for Bush.

and this is really pissing me off; suddenly, every time I hit return, Blogger is dropping me two lines.

see!? what the fuck?

the hell with it. this is so fucking cool. makes me want to visit San Francisco.
as long as it’s made of Jell-O.

I mean, you’ll probably die a twisted, evil person, but hey, at least all your answers will be simple.
like, watch:
your wife leavin’ you cause you beat her? got a drinkin’ problem? truck need a new tranny? lose your job to a more qualified foreigner? well, fuck it! lets us blame it on the mud people!
see how easy that is?

anyway.
heh.
props to Neil for the link.
“the Mary Kate and Ashley of the white nationalist movement.”
that’s pretty fucked up, man. the government is probably watching me now, after I’ve clicked through their links. you ever read the message boards at stormfront.org? there are some crazy motherfuckers out there.

and for the record, I don’t suggest you check out and/or read stormfront.org. just imagine a bunch of bigots in an online circle jerk, and you’ll get the idea.

wow.
White Sox won, in stunning fashion. I was watching the game, watched Mike basically sink through the seat when Jenks gave up two in the fucking top of the ninth, then almost ram through the ceiling when Podsednik bailed him out in the bottom. oh, and yeah, that grand slam was kickass too.

gave “Doom” a bee minus. my review was a little long, and I tried to be, you know, serious. we’ll see how that works out.

went to the Video Saloon last night with Josh and Phil. Galia was there. she and Josh went at it, almost immediately. aww, they’re so good for each other.

I’m drained right now; I’m not sure why. didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, but I never do, so I’m not sure what’s up. kind of sucks; I rented “Escape from New York” and this Russian film called “the Return,” and they both look pretty solid. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get through one tonight. might have to turn in early. at 11:30.

bought a book this weekend online. called “the Ultimate Zombie Survival Guide.” should be awesome. you can never be too careful, I say. besides, if some motherfucker took the time to actually write a book about a worst case scenario of zombie plague, I’ll take the time to read it. that takes some gumption.

hooray for rich republicans!

hooray for Tom DeLay!

hooray for corporate executives spending money on the company account at strip clubs!

hooray for “Doom.”
the guy from Newsweek said, “imagine all four Alien movies compacted, boiled in chicken fat and then pumped with steroids.”
god, it’s going to kick so much ass.

I’m so kickass.
they actually let me say “testicles” in the Weekend. what a great way to get your name out.

last night, I watched the miniseries remake of “Battlestar Galactica” with Smith. and it was good.
so…
if I like “Battlestar Galactica,” does that make me an uber-nerd, or just a huge fucking dork?

I’ve got “Doom” this week. it’s gonna be the lead review. I’ve been asking for it for a month, so I have to deliver on this one. prepare yo sef.

have to work tomorrow, but first, got to drive Mar to the airport. Mar is going to see Dad. Mar gets to go to Jamie and Lindsey Koons’ concurrent engagement party. ho ho, Mar. don’t have too much fun.

I feel like such a fuck up in the presence of Kat. don’t know how to fix this. I think I’ll go blindly ahead. try and talk to her.
when I see her, I feel like I could cut the tension with a knife. and I hate it.
god, I want to say something to her.
but, if someone, like a third party or something, sat down with us at a table and asked “what’s wrong, why has it gone awry?” I don’t know if either of us could say. well, I don’t know, maybe she could. I certainly couldn’t.
I make it sound so hard.
Walter said it best. “nothing is fucked here, dude.”
should do something, shouldn’t sit on my ass. can’t wait for the problem to rectify itself, or for her to say something, cause she might not ever. then I’d feel even worse. letting this problem linger and fade.

Matt McMullan, king of insecurity

I just thought this was funny.
Lee Marvin is kickass.
in “Delta Force” with Chuck Norris, when Marvin goes “McCoy, it’s a go. take em down.” I seriously almost start to cry, it’s so funny.

anyways, I tried – well, Mike, Phil and I all tried to get tickets to the Series at Comiskey. we all timed out. fucking ticketmaster.
then again, I was probably going up against, what, couple hundred thousand other people?

today, got “the Warriors.” and the rest of the day has been a waste. I tore myself away from it, now I need to get some shit done. going to the library, printing stuff out for P461. or, that’s the plan, anyway.

oh no



there is only one good “Rocky” movie. it’s the first one. every movie after that sucked. II sucked. Mr. T sucked. Lundgren sucked. Stallone’s kid and that guy with the mullet sucked.
it doesn’t matter how much fucking money they made.
this is why I find it so hard to enjoy Stallone. that motherfucker has talent; he watched the Chuck Wepner/Muhammad Ali fight where Wepner (the huge underdog) actually knocked Ali on his ass, and then he made a great, insiprational underdog movie.
then he made another. and another. and another. every movie after the first was about taking a good idea and beating it to death. the money went to his head. he dates supermodels, and is a shitty action star (unlike Chuck Norris, who is the greatest action star in the history of the earth).
I can count on one hand the decent movies he’s made: “Rocky.” “Cliffhanger.” “Cop Land.” “First Blood.” “Demolition Man.” see? that’s five. one hand.
and he’s been in over fifty. that’s like a .100 batting average. they bench people for that in the majors.
and now, they’re making a sixth one. which, I’ll wager is so incredibly bad, it’ll make your eyes bleed.

god damn, I ate some chili last night, and it’s working on me something awful.

I post. take it as you will, junkie. take issue with the content if you’ve got a beef. natch.

alright.
yesterday I saw “the Fog.” which I’m strongly considering giving an eff minus. that movie ate balls. the review will be brutal, which is just the way I like it.

and.
worked all day today at the other store. the shift is complete. holy god, what now?
I don’t understand “girls.” fair enough, they probably don’t understand me either.
today was probably the most awkward I’ve felt at work since, well, ever. I’m not really sure if she’s not into this, or if I’m missing the point and not taking a hint, or if I’m supposed to say something, or …
fuck, I don’t even know. I do know that I feel like we’re a million miles away from last weekend, and I have no idea why; I feel like I’m still there and she’s done with it. and I’ve been thinking that I’ve done something, said something to turn this sour. I probably have, and am too fucking dense to know what it is right now.
but even so, it’s kind of hard to deal with this shit with a dozen coworkers standing ten feet from you, cause it’s not exactly an appropriate time to talk about it. and it’s kind of hard to figure out elsewheres if she doesn’t return your phone calls. as of right now, I don’t know what to do. I’d say I’d wait for her to call me, but I’m pretty sure she won’t. should I call her again? let’s keep the answers simple, people, I’m pretty sure I’m clinically retarded.
whatever happens, I wish it’d happen right now, cause I’d rather not feel horribly uncomfortable every time I pull a lunch shift for the next six months.

also.
so after the greatest shift I’ve ever had ever, I decided that what the fuck, I’m going to buy a video game. or, even more nerdtastic, I’m going to pre-order a video game. maybe even two. I’d try to defend myself of being a huge fucking dork, but I am what I am. fuck you.
so yeah, I wanted “Shadow of the Colossus” and a video game based on one of the coolest movies of all time, “The Warriors.”
couldn’t find either. so I’m looking around like a doofus, cause even though I am a big video game fan, I can’t find my way around a video game store to save my life.
so there’s this girl, a manager, standing there. and I recognize her.
it’s Midwest motherfucking Mandy, internet celebrity (it’s dirty, watch out).
now, online amateur porn stars are a dime a dozen. and to be honest, it’s not like I saught her out on the internet. but, Galia went to high school with her, and my interest was peaked. it’s a morbid curiosity. like, for example, it came to light that a girl who lived in Briscoe dormatory last year was going under the name “teen Keira” and shooting softcore pornography in her room. campus was abuzz for like a week, and you know people around Bloomington checked out her website after that. so yeah, Galia knows a girl who owns and stars on her own porn site. I’ve checked it out, I’m only human.
either way, I recognized her. so while I’m standing there and she’s looking these games up on the store computer, I think why not, and say, “I’m pretty sure I know you from somewhere.”
she looks up at me, cause she’s probably heard this a lot. and she probably thought she knew what I was going to say next, right? “ah seen you on the internet!” I mean, it’s a video game store. you know the clientele loves internet pornography.
wrong! I said, “did you go to school with Galia Arad?”

I have been to the edge and looked over. I am not a dick.

she did go to school with Galia. who knew? she said she recognized me too. I think we met at a bar a long time ago, Galia probably introduced us. either way, she was nice, and very helpful. made small talk. and the games I’ve pre-ordered should be there on the 19th.
kick ass.