web log, you my only fren
I’m on my lunch break.
I knew this would happen. seriously, I knew it. I knew it.
I didn’t know it.
I don’t know what I was exactly thinking. but this job sucks. I’m at about 80% independence level when it comes to the work, and I’m ready to move on. I can’t move on, not feasibly, for a couple of months at least. but I’m ready to go.
tomorrow, I’m going to a bullfight. that’s going to be boss – can’t see one of those in the States, so this weekend isn’t going to be a wash. I’m really looking forward to it. maybe it’s just cause I’m burned out and miss my friends and family, but I feel like I’m on some sort of emotional roller coaster.
maybe I’m menstruating.
at least I can still laugh at Rick Santorum’s weeping children.
I’m not missing anything important at home. and if I was there, it’s not like I would be doing anything greater with my time anyhow. but this out here: job with meager pay, small, dusty town? life’s too short for this. so I’m not going to kid myself for any longer than I have to.
I’d rather be around people I love. fuck this exile.
now let’s see how different I feel tomorrow.
being by people that you love is BY FAR the most important.
Dude, I warned you about El Centro.
it could have been San Diego. or Seattle. or San Antonio or Tokyo. I don’t think it would have mattered.
i know what the problem is. i’ve been on an emotional roller coaster too. crying at documentaries, doubting the bears, etc.
it’s being away from me. i feel you like a mother remembers the tickle at her breast from her baby…you still make my flesh quiver.
-josh
Dude, just write through the fucker. You have a gift for it – use it to get through the hard times.
Much love man, you’ll ride this one out. Nothing’s harder than the vertigo of the first year out of college, if you ask me.
-SPENCE