play the flute
here’s a song I love: “going up the country” by Canned Heat. makes me want to start a jug band.
I got a problem. I’ve been reading my back logs, and I don’t like it. I don’t like my tone, I don’t like my character. I sound like a dick. so I must be one. all this self loathing and cynicism and whining, it gets kind of hollow after a while, and it doesn’t stand up over the long run. see, the thing is, I’m having a crisis of confidence. all. over. the place.
I can’t wait for vacation to begin (end of month). and then after that, I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m looking forward to after that. I don’t like my job an awful lot, I feel listless, and I don’t know why. I don’t know what I want. don’t know where to go. and I usually hold off from dropping this on here, so as to avoid all of you all’s derision, but it is what is, and what it is is I’m sad and lonely and nursing my wounds and that’s the truth. Matt is feeling sorry for himself in his apartment in Charlottesville. fuck you. but I’ll probably get over most of whatever this is tomorrow.
and also, hooray for Cat. you’re very nice and I enjoy your company and this sweater that I’m wearing is very warm.
see, that paragraph right there, the above one, I’ll hate it in a week.
onto something completely different; saw “no country for old men” yesterday, and it was boss. unsettlingly violent, wonderful acting, lots of symbolism so it’s worthy of seeing again. apparently, it’s based on a recent novel by a Cormac McCarthy, and he’s been fairly prolific over the past couple of decades but I’m not especially interested in reading that story of his. he also wrote a novel called “the road,” about a post-apocalyptic America full of cannibals. and it won the Pulitzer this year.
so yeah, I want to read it. if anyone who reads this has the kind of relationship with me that a christmas gift would be appropriate, then look no further: buy me the Pulitzer winner about American cannibals. an easy, obvious choice.
Matty, I feel the same way you do every winter. I don’t mean to belittle your feelings by saying “it’s just the weather,” but I think that sometimes it’s hard to differentiate the feelings of your body from the emotions of your mind. I know I have a hard time with it.
Glad you’re enjoying the sweater.
And shit, I love your blog! Yes, you sound like an ass hole, but it is highly entertaining and you pull it off quite well. Shit, dude, you know I based the style of my blog this semester on what you do in your blog? Seriously. I couldn’t have done it without the inspiration from your smart-ass comments. Yup, it’s true.
Cheer up, kiddo!
Cat
i read all the pretty horses in high school. i don’t remember being particularly impressed, but i saw him interviewed (ok, so maybe it was oprah for her book club….ehh, but he seemed pretty legit, he didn’t throw oprah a bone, it was boss) and thought i should read the road as well. then my professors thought it would be more appropriate to read academic articles, dickens, and the communist manifesto so here i am, sill dreaming of the road.
mar
I babysat your niece Saturday night. It was the deal of the century. Mike and Va paid me good money to read books and eat microwavable pizza with a kid who never cries.
We read Goodnight Gorilla at least 25 times. Then we did 600 laps around the house with the stroller.