Archive for January, 2008|Monthly archive page
it makes sense to me, and isn’t that what’s important?
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“the morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.”
- Oliver Wendall Holmes on a sign above the bakery department at Whole Foods Market
“fuck you, Lang.”
- me to my co-worker, over something petty, because when I go into Whole Foods Market I immediately feel combative.
I just, don’t, like that place. I can’t help it. have you ever been in a Whole Foods? a tenth of the employees are tattooed. everyone is wearing earthtones. and everywhere you look, a reaffirmation that Whole Foods Market is a world-conscious, community friendly organic grocery market. posted on the walls. fastooned on all of the checkout lines.
as I wait my turn at the salad bar (and yeah, they have a good salad bar) a woman wearing ergonomic garden shoes and an sweater she paid about $300 for at equita.com lets her kid ladle out a bowl of soup on his own. the little motherfucker is spilling organic garden vegetables everywhere.
after I pay $7.50 for a small salad, ginger ale and croissant and we get back in the car, I talk about my simmering hatred for Whole Foods with my co-worker. yeah, the food is good, but I, I, I grow angry whenever I walk in there. he doesn’t get it. “dude, they get better benefits than we do. you aren’t an employee, dude, you’re a team worker.” he knows. his girlfriend works there, so he knows.
after that conversation, I decided I was going to try and write it out, figure out what it is that makes me hate Whole Foods and judge, harshly, just about everyone I see in there. and simply put, I don’t like it because for all of the bullshit they preach about community involvement and being stewards of the earth and redefining – through progressive action, of course - the way the modern consumer thinks of corporations, it’s just a ridiculously expensive supermarket where rich liberals can go to feel good about themselves.
but why hate? I mean, fuck, that coffee they’re using Oliver Wendall Holmes to sell up at the top? it’s a fair trade Peruvian organic for $10 a lb! so buy it, and feel warm inside. you’re saving the world!
“The Wild One” is on, and it has Lee Marvin
we saw the smoke before we came around the corner.
it was an abnormally warm day in Indiana this past monday. easy into the sixties. normally, the temperature is no higher than 25, 30 around this time of year, but monday felt like spring.
so my brother and I are in the car, and we can see the smoke rising from Uncle Bill’s property before we can see the house.
“what the fuck is this,” says my brother.
so we come around the corner, and it turns out he’s burning cardboard in a large barbeque grill he has in his driveway. Uncle B is holding court in front of his open garage, no shirt. jeans held up by suspenders. still-warm chainsaw on a steel crate.
we had tacos. inside Uncle B’s house is Uncle B’s fridge, and inside he has nothing but taco stuff. refried beans, large jar of jalepeno slices. rolling papers.
it was a long trip. it was a good trip for the most part. went to the Brauhaus with J and S, which was fun, but one night a year isn’t enough. had entirely too much to drink in Florida on New Year’s eve, and hopefully won’t carry a scar because of it. saw A (he isn’t dead). I, uh, ate a lot of potato salad.
oh, and this was overheard during Orthodox Xmas:
Cousin G: where do you live?
Uncle B’s girlfriend: Portage.
Cousin G: do you know Joe Roberts?
B’s girlfriend: no.
G: you live in Portage, don’t you?
but do you see this? I’m grasping at straws, looking for something to catch and send this flying. like when in Mario Kart, when you drive over the power boost? I’m looking for the power boost. and I got nothing.
jesus christ, is this the end of the blog? probably not. but its been two weeks, and I still got nothing, so I’ll write more later.
