rock over London. rock on, Chicago.

if anyone bothers to read all of this, I will send you a dollar in the mail because you are a motherfucking champ.
but anyway, what follows is a conversation I had today. and a picture of some Russian soldiers.

‘okay. so here’s what’s up.’

‘what’s this talk of genocide?’

‘there’s no genocide. that’s a loaded word.’

‘I’m seeing borders are shared. I was reading quotes on the BBC.’

‘I know. I read that too.
‘that’s just governments trying to win sympathy votes. both georgia and russia are only telling half the truth. it’s a war, after all.’

‘so it’s over though?’

‘kind of.
‘Georgia is a small nation in the Caucasus. it used to be within the Soviet sphere of influence, meaning it was a communist satellite state before the USSR collapsed. it was the people’s republic of georgia or some bullshit. Stalin was actually from Georgia.
‘the Caucasus is a mountain range between the eastern shore of the Black sea and the western shore of the Caspian, north of Turkey, Iraq and Iran. it has lots of little subdivisions. it’s very clannish.’

‘communitst satellite state? what the hell does that mean?’

‘meaning, it basically took marching orders from moscow.’

‘okay.’

‘so there’s a million little ethnicities in Georgia, and they all consider themselves seperate, and as of recent, they do not all get along.’

‘sounds like China.’

‘you ever hear of the Chechen wars? see, Chechnya is to the northeast of Georgia, and it’s on Russia’s border too. Chechnya, from about 1995 up until about 2004, was a hellhole. Chechen separatists were fighting a brutal, if not effective, war against the Russians, who considered Chechnya part of their terrritory.’

‘yeah, I’ve heard of it. never really knew what the hell was going on, though.’

‘the Chechens actually won the first one, drove the Russians out in 1999. i mean, really, it was like scary violent fighting. lots of attrocities and whatnot on both sides. the Russians were very heavyhanded.’

‘ah, so Russsia is being a big brother and doesn’t want no separatist groups.’

‘kind of. I’m being very verbose, but this is all backstory so the georgia thing will make sense. I love talking about geopolitical politics.
‘but anyway. in 2000, Vladimir Putin gets elected president in Russia, and he’s all like, ‘we’re going back down to Chechnya, and we’re winning that motherfucking war.”

‘as he fiddles with his bling.’

‘exactly. so the Russian military goes back into Chechnya, and another war starts. lasts about as long – i think it ended in ’04 – and eventually the Russians kind of win.’

‘kind of win?’

‘the Russians installed a former Chechen rebel leader, son of, I think, the dead president of the former Chechen state - who was esploded at a soccer match in Grozny, Chechnya’s capital, in 2004 - and they basically let him run things with his rebel forces.
‘but the whole point of this chechen subplot i’m talking about, is now that the Russian military doesn’t have to worry about Chechnya as much any more, Moscow can focus on another of its Caucasus pet projects: Georgia.’

‘so why is Georgia valuable?’

‘the Russians don’t make any huge claim to georgia as actually being part of their territory like they did with chechnya, but Georgia’s territory is fractured. as soon as it declared independence in 1991 – after the USSR collapsed - a few of its territories said, ‘we’re independent too, because we’re not Georgians.’
‘and a lot of the citizens in these places – Abkhazia and South Ossetia – want to be absorbed into Russia. they have their own little militaries and don’t recognize Georgia’s central government. this gave Russia kind of an excuse to “defend” the citizens of these territories.
‘I mean, Abkhazia actually has had Russian peacekeepers in it for over a decade. and when the Georgian president – Mikhail Saakashvili – came to power in 2004, a big part of his platform was ‘reunification.’ he was gonna restore what Georgia considered its territorital integrity.
‘now, mind you, georgia – even with all of its territory – is about the size of south carolina. it’s not very big.
‘but Georgia is important to Russia. for one, its a country on its southern border. and Georgia’s government under Saakashvili has been very pro-western. after Saakashvili’s election in ’04, George Bush actually visited the country and appeared at a rally in front of tens of thousands. he praised the country as a model of democracy.
‘AND – and I think this is even more important – the U.S. has been pushing hard to get Georgia into NATO.’

‘okay. so what’s NATO?’

‘NATO – that stands for North Atlantic Treaty Organization – is the military pact that the U.S. and a bunch of other western European countries signed up on to oppose the USSR during the cold war.
‘after the cold war ended, NATO didn’t go away. NATO has expanded eastward, toward Russia’s traditional sphere of influence. consequentially, Russia hates NATO. a lot.’

‘why does russia hate NATO?’

‘the U.S. has been trying to get Georgia – and Ukraine, for that matter into NATO. and the U.S. has been so fucking gung ho about doing this that it’s spent millions of dollars and a lot of man hours on upgrading Georgia’s military so it’ll meet NATO standards.’

‘since georgia is so small though, what the hell? I don’t get the US’s interest in it.’

‘Russia considers NATO a threat. look it, this is how they see it: ‘why are you expanding NATO? what’s the point, unless you’re all ganging up on Russia?’
‘if you get Georgia into NATO, then you basically up the U.S. influence in that section of the world. it’s a friendly government. it opens up the region of the world – and that’s especially important because a British Petroleum pipeline from the Caspian sea to Turkey goes right through Georgia. because energy always has something to fucking do with it.’

‘of course.’

‘fuckin’ A. but anyway. Georgia went ahead and took a swing at the breakaway province of South Ossetia to try and “reunify the country” over the weekend. and Russia reacted. hard.
‘Russia has basically crushed the Georgian military. and it seems to be a case of Russia asserting itself in what they call their ‘near abroad’ – Moscow’s traditional sphere of influence.
‘they don’t like Saakashvili. they don’t like all of this cozying up to the West. and while they’ve agreed to a ceasefire – a ceasefire, not peace – it seems to me from what I’ve read that Russia was making a point: Russia is back, and there’s not much the anyone can do about it.’

‘so Russia is back! whoo hoo!’

‘well, I think that’s actually kind of bad.’

‘no, I know. i’m making fun of stupidface Russia.’

‘fair enough.
‘you know, this weekend i was sitting in the budget meeting at work where we decide what stories are going where in the newspaper …’

‘were you high?’

‘… no. hardy har.
‘and we were gonna put the Georgia story on the front page just for continuation – we had the day before and the fighting was still going on – and one of the editors said, “I’m worried that this is just basically going to be a one-and-done kind of story.” like how some violent little conflict flares up and we pay attention to it for half a week, then it’s gone.
‘but I think this one is different. this was a potential NATO member. NATO was going to consider Georgia for membership in december. and russia basically stomped the tar out of its military. if it wanted to, it could have toppled the government.
‘and because the U.S. is so overextended in conflicts elsehwere; Iraq, Afghanistan, and shit, even the fucking Phillipines, and there’s not much the U.S. can do about it.
‘after George Bush got back from playing grabass with the Olympic beach volley ball team in Beijing, he tried to be stern in a Rose Garden address, but the Russians aren’t stupid. they know Americans couldn’t stomach another foreign intervention in a place almost all of them couldn’t find on a map to save their lives.’

‘makes sense.’

‘and they know bush has five months left and is unpopular. so they waited for Georgia to give them an excuse – like when they attacked South Ossetia - and then the Russians worked out on them.’

‘if we got involved it would be too many occupations. but wait, no shit; you think Russia waited because of George Bush’s popularity and term limits?’

‘I don’t think they did it becasue of George Bush. but when Moscow was sitting around thinking on this, when they thought “what will be the American response?” they probably took Bush’s popularity into account. as well as a slew of other things.’

‘well. huh.’

‘was that rundown of the Georgian conflict what you were looking for?’

‘yeah, it’ll do. because beforehand, I was like, ‘what the fuck is Georgia?”

‘I’m not going to lie: I was pretty happy with it myself.’

‘go ahead. gloat.’

‘I’m one step ahead of you.
‘oh, and also, this is just kind of interesting, but remember when I was talking about how the US has poured a lot of effort into upgrading Georgia’s military?’

‘yeah.’

‘after the US and Great Britain, the country with the most forces in Iraq was Georgia. and when Russia started kicking Georgia’s ass, the US airlifted ALL of Georgia’s troops in Iraq back to Georgia. with US military planes.
‘this also pissed off Russia. they thought it was ‘meddling.’
‘oh. and from what I’ve read, the Georgians are now pissed at us, too. they didn’t think they were starting a fight with Russia – they obviously thought they could handle the South Ossetian separatists on their own - but when Russia started working out on them, they were like, ‘uh, thanks for all of the help, America.”

‘whoa.
‘wait, so is there a connection with the pipelines? Georgia has a major line. that’s gotta be big news. is this what you’ve been getting to? do you think there was a bond between Georgia and America because of the oil?’

‘no. I wasn’t leading up to the gas pipeline thing. but that’s definitely a factor in all of this. that’s some shit I haven’t read up on as much. but yeah. I think it had a role to play.’

‘okay.’

‘in college, I read this book about this American kid who got involved in Islam and joined the Chechen jihad against the Russians in the 90′s. Chechnya is muslim, and there were a lot of holy warriors mixed in with the nationalist fighters. and jesus christ, it was gory.’

‘yeah, I was just now reading about the muslim population.’

‘and you know, there’s a lot of indifference about this Georgia thing over here. I mean, the government is paying plenty of attention to it. but you know how it is amongs us common folk. most people could give a shit. I mean, come on. Georgia? that’s where Atlanta is. and besides, football is about to start, and Brett Favre is now a New York Jet.’

‘fucking hell in a handbasket, man.’

I heard about that John Edwards shit. it’s just like grandpa used to say: sometimes, you just gotta fuck the videographer and father her bastard child.

this morning I woke up in New Jersey, and now I’m back in Charlottesville. the drive back wasn’t as awful as I was expecting it to be. Mar rode with me. before we left Ocean City this morning and after we hugged cousins and aunts and uncles goodbye, we got Italian hoagies. three of them. each of them are huge, like the length of my arm.
at the deli, the bored teenage employees were watching a video for this fucking Kid Rock song that bites hard on “werewolves of London” by Warren Zevon, and also on Skynyrd. I hate this song. every time it comes on the radio, I think it’s the Zevon song, because it starts with that instantly recognizable piano hook and that song jams, and then I realize it’s not Warren Zevon at all. it’s Kid Rock. this is not fair. I hate Kid Rock for doing this to me. 
so we drove for a while and then pulled over and split one of these hoagies at a rest stop on I-95 — or as I call it, the autobahn — and talked about how much regular jobs suck. Mar’s right: they do. we just have to figure out a way to be able to afford renting a Jersey beach house for a week every couple of summers. because that shit is expensive.

I listened to a lot of Led Zeppelin II this week. I also, what, what else did I do … I watched the entire opening ceremony to the Olympics. the part where the torch bearer was whirled through the sky and ran the length of the stadium while suspended by wires? that was ridiculous. but if I were there, I wouldn’t have dared laugh. apparently, 1.3 billion Chinese people are taking the Olympics very seriously.

I got a wicked sunburn on the right side of the front of my body. see, what happened was Mar did me the familiar pleasure of hosing down my back with sun tan lotion, and she didn’t miss any spots. then, I did the rest of myself, and I missed tons, and so I got real random spots of burn. like my neck and one shoulder and a strip on my stomach that I missed.
consequentially, I looked like an asshole, but I managed to even it out. I like the beach, and I like sitting in the sun, and I like swimming in the ocean. you feel tight after you get out of the water, sandblasted. leathery.

about midweek, someone pointed out the giant pimple in the middle of my brother’s back, and over the following days we proceeded to bring it up for discussion whenever possible. he wanted to call it ‘Anthony Zitty’, while someone else suggested ‘Anna’s lost twin’. I mean, not even kidding, it was huge. and I don’t know why I’m talking about the motherfucker in the past tense. it’s probably still around, god bless.

I saw a huge slew of relatives. all of whom are pretty cool. there is my Uncle Bill (on my father’s side, another one) is a very nice man. he wears a t-shirt that says ‘antique Irishman’ because he’s growing elderly. I finally put my finger on it, who he reminds me of, after all of these years, and it’s Bill Cosby. my uncle is a lot like Dr. Huxtable, same mannerisms and such.
and there is my cousin Maura, who is unfailingly nice. I grew up around her, saw her all of the time. she is my age, and when we were little I would go with her to her soccer practices, where I would get completely smoked by the rest of Maura’s traveling girls’ soccer team. she came down from Philadelphia for a day, and she now drives a very slick looking car. I am happy for Maura. not because of the car, but because she seems to be doing well post college. she’s an engineer. very bright. has drive. will be successful.

onward. at one point, on what I believe was Thursday, my brother and I drove south of the city to the next island,  where the town of Strathmere is. Strathmere is small, and right on the north end of the island, and the distance across the waterway to the south end of Ocean City isn’t more than 150 yards. this is because the water is low here, and Mike showed me that you can walk way, way out on the sand, on a spit that’s apparently protected by the National Park Service.
it is legit here; here, where you can walk farther out, and wade out to the sandbars. where you can stand, and momentarily be dry while the water spills and is busy all around you. so much action, but so calm. and there on that Thursday, the weather was warm, and the sun was going down, over the water and trees behind you to the west, and in front of you was the open Atlantic. and you’re baked and leathery. on that Thursday, that was a good vacation.

so … I guess thus ends the beach. I took no photos. and I know you’re bummed out, but tough shit.

and now, I’m sitting here and I’m watching the video Prince made for “kiss.” in this video, Prince looks ridiculous. like something my aforementioned grandpa would call a “deviant.” but that’s okay; this song is the awesome. it doesn’t matter that Prince has a pencil-thin moustache and is wearing a skin-tight lycra bodice. this is a good tune. fuck you, grandpa!

I’m on the deck at the beach in New Jersey.

my immediate family is inside sleeping. it’s 1:15, of course I’m still up. and this beach house has wireless internet, and somebody brought a laptop. and it’s warm and dark here. I can hear the waves crashing two hundred yards in front of me, but I can’t see them. because it’s nighttime and it’s black over the ocean.

to my left is north, and I can see, as the coast curves, the lights of Atlantic City. how many miles, a hundred, eighty miles north of there is New York City. behind me eighty miles is Philadelphia. and for as quiet as it is here, I am amazed that I’m kind of in the crosshairs of two major cities.
for as much as I hate the traffic, I love the east coast. it’s like living on top of one another here. there’s history here, and I like that.

I am listening to the Arcade Fire. I was digging through my record collection before I got in the truck yesterday and left Charlottesville, and I grabbed that popular album from Jenny Lewis that came out like, two years ago. and lo and behold, there’s the burned copy I have of the Arcade FIre album I don’t know the name of.
this is music that’s good in small doses. and also, it’s music I associate with particular things, memories, that I’m trying to ditch. lame things, not necessarily bad things, but things that weigh on you if you linger on them too much, and music can take you back there. shit, tastes, smells can do that.
so yeah, I’m upgrading the Arcade Fire’s memory. to the beach house’s deck. that I’m sitting on in the dark and the warmth, with waves crashing in front of me that I can’t see, because it’s black over the ocean.

I was looking at an article today about childbirth and i clicked on a picture of a placenta. curiousity got the best of me…..I’m not okay.